[ He half expects flippancy, a quick, easy answer to try and deny his guilt. What Wei Ying choose to say instead proves there is intelligence in that oft-absurd and irreverent head.
It doesn't make recent events hurt less. It doesn't absolve him. It doesn't fix anything.
But it shows a willingness on Wei Ying's part to help shoulder the burden. More than just his weight, to try and save his leg from permanent damage while Wen Chao continues to parade them around for his pleasure.
He keeps his voice quiet, barely loud enough for the other to hear. ]
Must find a way to remedy it.
[ Tacit invitation to hear any thoughts Wei Ying has, or...
No. He'll watch, and listen, to see where he can support his soulmate in taking the corrupt Wen sect down. ]
( it's quiet, but wei ying still hears it. for a moment, his only response is a sigh through his nose, a press of his lips to a thoughtful line. right now, it honestly seems like a matter of biding their time. tolerating this until an opening arises. to attempt the impossible, do nothing until you can achieve something. that's what sect leader jiang told them, and after doing something landed him in the dungeon, he's sorely tempted to give sect leader jiang's advice a bit more consideration. )
We will, ( he replies, low and perhaps a bit foreboding - but if so, the foreboding hangs over wen chao and his men. another step or two pass, then, ) He's loud, but he's stupid. We just wait for him to make a mistake. ( to give them too much leeway. to let them in reach of his sword. to slip and fall and distract his men just long enough for he and lan zhan and jiang cheng and (ugh) probably the peacock to steal their swords from their sheaths and riot. something. there's going to be something. )
[ Wangji's expression doesn't change. He doesn't seem to be paying attention to Wei Ying at all, but he notices those slight expressions. How his soulmate bends his mind to thinking of a way out. He's not disappointed by what Wei Ying eventually answers with. The tone doesn't bother him, really. It's a promise. ]
Mm.
[ Agreement. Subtle promise of his own to help, if Wei Ying is able to interpret it that way. Or simply decides to. Either way, he won't fight alone. ]
( wei ying doesn't need to interpret the hum as a promise. even without the hum, he has no doubt whatsoever that lan zhan would fight by his side in this regardless of the odds and without a moment's hesitation - and that's part of why wei ying is being so careful now. when wen chao attacked them at the dung field, wei wuxian had run his mouth because in his mind, none would face the consequences aside from himself. but then lan zhan stepped into the way, he and his broken leg, and he paid for it. that's the last time wei wuxian plans to let lan zhan's broken leg pay for anything he chooses to do. )
Patience, ( he agrees, and that's that.
the perfect occasion arises eventually, even without his help. a fight breaks out once they've found the cave (over mianmian - at least it's a worthy cause), and he manages to take wen chao hostage. a moral victory even if not an actual one, since the idiot goes free almost immediately once the tortoise of slaughter makes itself known. more fighting ensues, this time far more chaotic and fearful.
before long, the wens have retreated back up the stone cliff like spineless cowards and the rest of the young masters and servants have made their way out through the water-filled tunnel below. just wei ying and lan zhan remain, holed up beyond a door just barely too small for the tortoise's massive skull to fit through. wei ying leans heavily back against the wall with a breath of laughter, half relieved and half exhilarated from the fight - but that's when he notices once again how strongly lan zhan favors his leg.
he couldn't drop to a crouch any faster if his legs gave out, by the man's side in an instant. ) It got you, ( he says, less a question than a self-flagellant statement, since he should have been watching. looking out for lan zhan, hadn't that been the plan? hands hover impotently around the wounded leg for a moment, all of his willpower funneled into having the decency to ask before he looks. ) Let me look at it. ( okay, that's not really 'asking', but there's definitely a 'please?' underlying his tone. )
[ Not alone. Actions with consequences. Subtle adjustments to how one becomes two to work seamlessly. Wangji has his own adjustments to make, easier than Wei Ying's, perhaps, in that he's more used to thinking of how his actions will affect others. But not quite in this way. Physical pain, shared.
They stick close together, along with their other, fellow captives, and do their best to keep everyone safe. Even if by the time he and Wei Ying are finally, for once, alone in the cave, and his leg is even worse.
Worth it, to keep his soulmate safe and not left behind, as the other man had clearly intended. Fool, the decisive word fondly echoes in his mind before being set aside. Brave, kind, self-sacrificing fool. It captivates him more than he'd have expected, providing a nice distraction from the physical pain and exertion of the fight.
But the fight is over, and most of what had helped him keep going drains out as he sits down, back against the stone in their little hiding place. He watches the desperate need to help war with decency to wait in those hands, hears it in Wei Ying's voice. He lowers his gaze, taking a calming, careful breath to try and settle the pounding of his heart and soothe the burn in his chest for air.
Studies his leg, hand resting lightly over the worst part of the wound. He nods, because this infuriating man is his, and they're in this together to the end. ]
( that is what he had intended, for everyone else to get out while wei ying distracted the colossal beast. but if anyone had to stay, a part of him is glad it was lan zhan. (even more of him would be, if not for the fairly severe injury left medically unattended by lan zhan's continued presence here in this cave.) it's... nice, to have someone he's able to act as a team with. it has never been quite so, with jiang cheng - even when they've fought together, his priority has always been to protect a-cheng, never to lean on him as an equal.
perhaps he is a fool. how terribly fortunate, then, that his soulmate isn't one.
what his soulmate is is wounded, and wei ying's gaze flickers back and forth from said wound to lan zhan's face - watching for even the slightest sign that it's okay to attend to it. that very permission comes in the form of a single nod, and he scoots in close enough not to have to lean as he peels layers of robe up away from the wound.
his wince at the sight of it is carefully suppressed, swallowed down to a flicker of his brow and a heavy swallow. this is bad. it needs support, it needs some of wen ning's panacea, it needs -
to not be stuck in this stupid cave, is what it needs. not an option right this moment, but one he's prioritizing in the near future for that very reason. for now, he draws out wen ning's pouch of what looks very much like medicinal dirt, much more empty than he recalls but certainly full enough to use on lan zhan's wounds. he sprinkles some into a palm, then sets the bag down and presses a bit of it to each of the cuts, where it (fortunately and unfortunately) sticks well enough thanks to the fresh and drying blood. )
Sorry if it stings, ( he belatedly thinks to say, gaze flickering up to lan zhan's for a moment before focusing back down on his work. ) But the more it stings, the better it's working - or something like that. ( he's no doctor, that just... seems like what makes sense.
now the gashes are covered in panacea, but that solves precisely nothing unless they can stabilize the break. so - ) I'll be right back, ( he says, getting up to hurry off down the cave a bit. he thought he saw some sort of plant bramble this way, and sure enough there's a (mercifully thornless) bush, miraculously alive despite the lack of sunlight here in the cave. wei ying breaks off a branch, tearing off the offshoots as he drags it back to lan zhan, then breaking what's left into two foot-long lengths of stick.
dropping to his knees beside the injured leg once again, he discards the sticks on the ground to reach up and untie the red ribbon holding his hair in place. this is used to secure the sticks on each side of lan zhan's leg, careful to avoid abrading the gashes any worse as he wraps the ribbon around the splint-sticks and leg a good dozen or so times and ties it off.
a moment is taken to survey his work, then a grin breaks out across his face, eyes lifting to lan zhan's again. ) How's that?
[ He'd heard Jiang Wanyin scream for his brother, but was glad in the end that only he and Wei Ying were left behind. They didn't really need to talk to know what to do, as much as his soulmate enjoys to chatter.
Chatter which he has done his very best to pretend only irritates him, but in fact is soothing. Wei Ying is so full of life. And maybe that makes Wangji a fool to want to stay close, to not mind the knowledge his soul is entwined with this man's. He can live with it with all his heart. Oddly both easier, and harder, now that Wei Ying knows.
Accepted, all the same.
Wangji helps peeling layers of cloth from the mess of his leg, jaw clenched to keep silent. Breath carefully moderated. Fingers just barely twitching where they rest, to keep from clutching the limb and risking making it even worse. The sprinkle of medicine stings, of course, but he bears it as stoically as he'd walked while carrying dung, beyond a small flinch.
His gaze flies up when Wei Ying stands and moves away, not quite able to keep the flash of unease at being apart. Absurd, it's only a few minutes. Wei Ying wouldn't lie, when it's for someone else. What the other has in mind doesn't matter.
He's not left disappointed, as Wei Ying proves when he comes up with sticks to support the wounded limb. He stretches his leg out just a little, straightening it and ignoring how nerves scream at the added abuse. Then calms as it's set and supported. The red ribbon from Wei Ying's own head has his cheeks pink a little, and he nods at the question, not immediately able to tear his gaze from red against white. ]
( the words are a relief, but even more so is the way lan zhan's tension is already starting to leak away in light of the makeshift splint - confirming that even with wei ying's sharply limited medical experience, he managed to make something resembling the right choice. he grins at lan zhan a moment longer, then lets out a 'well that's taken care of' sort of sigh and shifts to sink down against the wall beside him, head leaning back to rest against the stone. )
And now, we wait. ( spoken with an air of intrigue, as if waiting to be rescued is simply the next leg of this adventure rather than the long boring slog that it stands to be.
less boring than it would have been were he alone, at least. that thought has him letting his head roll to the side a little, eyeing lan wangji this time with something like thoughtful scrutiny. ) When did you figure it out? ( he finally asks, since mentally speculating is getting him nowhere. and yes, they're finally going to talk about it. they're stuck in a stupid cave, what else do they have to do with their time? )
[ Wei Ying makes good choices sometimes. It's his heart that Wangji respects, his sense of justice and resilience to do what he feels is right, no matter the cost. No regrets.
He's left with a vague sense that they will succeed, if they stick together. If they rely on each other.
If only he can learn to tolerate the fairly steady stream of words a little better...Except, Wei Ying is doing his part too, in talking just a little less. If only when it's the two of them. Helps put him a little more at ease, at least now.
He settles against the rock, closing his eyes to ignore that scrutiny. But he still answers, after a moment long enough it might be believed he'd fallen asleep. ]
( oh, how it's going to disappoint lan zhan when he finds out that wei ying has only been talking less because they've been caught in a crisis. at least, that's his rationale. that and the prevailing fatigue, from both his injuries and the lack of sleep he has gotten since the indoctrination began.
but the silence his question earns does plenty to test that newfound lack of chatter. lan zhan heard the question, absolutely, and wei wuxian knows he won't simply ignore it... if he can wait the man out. and so he does, not fooled in the slightest by the way he nearly looks to be sleeping (it's not nine in the evening yet, it couldn't possibly be).
and then the answer comes, and wei ying's brow knits a little, gaze dropping to the side. ) The cold s- ( he echoes, but cuts himself off in favor of a few seconds of silent consideration. now that he thinks back, the cold springs makes sense. wei ying made it halfway out of his robes before lan zhan got fed up and waded off, and in thinking about it, his shoulder was certainly part of that half. was that why lan zhan had reacted so strongly? he certainly knew his own mark, knew that it matched the second he saw it. but that was quite a while ago, now. weeks that lan zhan had known and wei wuxian had not. )
You weren't going to tell me. ( it's not a question, but a resigned sort of understanding he's come to reach. a beat, and then he nods a little with a hint of a smile. ) I can understand that. It must be hard, finding out that the person your life is joined with is one you've hardly been able to tolerate.
( a beat, then his smile blooms into a sort of grin as he turns his eyes back on lan zhan. three fingers lift up near his temple in promise, because - ) It's alright, though. I'm going to be easier to tolerate from now on, you have my word. Maybe not all the time, but a lot of it. How does that sound?
[ Disappoint? Yes. Surprise? Not as much as Wei Ying might think. Wangji has rather resigned himself to the truth of his soulmate. Even when he might wish some aspects were different.
He doesn't open his eyes to watch the emotions flash across the other's face. He doesn't need to. Surprise, confusion, maybe annoyance, but eventually...when Wei Ying makes himself quiet enough to think, intelligent understanding. And - there.
He doesn't acknowledge the comment. No need, it's true he would never have told the other what he'd learned about them. But the reasoning Wei Ying uses to justify it in his mind is what has Wangji open his eyes to glance at him, lips thinning just a little. He starts to feel almost bad, for his poor skills at communicating what he really should.
And then Wei Ying grins, and makes a promise that has him look away with a huff of a breath. ]
Boring.
[ But he can't accept that from himself. He has to do better. He has to try. ]
Wei Ying. [ He doesn't look at his soulmate. If he does, he'll fall silent again. He won't be able to say what he feels he needs to. ]
( boring? wei ying has just vowed to be less of a thorn in lan zhan's side and he's calling it boring? (wei ying huffs out an incredulous sort of breath, glancing off to the side.) it's as if lan zhan wants to be driven up the walls. if the matter were even fractionally less important, wei ying would take it as a challenge just on principle.
'wei ying.' that draws his eyes back at once, whether or not lan zhan is returning his gaze. which he isn't. instead, he's reminding wei wuxian of the lantern festival, of the things they promised. and all at once, he's cursing this terrible memory of his. so much has happened since that festival, so many more desperate things, that the recollections blur. he remembers the both of them vowing to live with no regrets - that much stood out to him even at the time, because how unusual for someone like lan zhan to make such a vow, he who acts so deliberately in the first place. now that wei ying thinks on it, the rest of their promises weren't so different, either. to stand with justice. to fight violence and protect the weak.
lan zhan had already known of their intertwined fates at the time.
the smile returns now, a subtle and thoughtless one this time, as some wordless, formless truth settles in between his lungs. it feels like it should be heavier, but on the contrary, wei ying only feels lighter now that he carries it. )
I remember now, ( he says, quietly but without the half-note of resignation his last quiet realization held. instead, his tone carries a quiet note of warmth. he settles his head back against the wall again, eyes finding the flickering fire before them. ) It's funny, how living with no regrets sounds so much easier now. ( no wonder he's watching the fire. even as casual as the words may seem, it's not something he would have been able to admit were he looking the man in the eye. )
...Time is a figment of the imagination because wtf self, 2 MONTHS?!
[ Wei Ying doesn't have to change. Not to keep Wangji with him. Even if were they not soulmates, Wangji is aware he'd still be drawn to this man.
He waits patiently silent for Wei Ying to think, to remember their promises. It doesn't matter how long it takes. And eventually, he hears the result. How Wei Ying's tone shifts and seems to relax. How Wei Ying smiles and Wangji doesn't even have to look to know it.
The warmth of that tone is enough to warm him, better than the fire flickering close by. Better, even, than being so aware of how close they sit. ]
Mm.
[ Quiet agreement as his gaze also falls to the flames. There's almost a peaceful look to his serious expression now. ]
Stand together, ( he echoes, quiet and resolute. wei ying isn't even entirely sure what that means, specifically - whether it encompasses only such matters as fighting for justice and the weak, or whether the esteemed lan wangji has truly resigned himself to standing beside wei ying in a more general sense as well.
he remembers a time when such a thing would've sounded awful, to have lan zhan around all the time. to live under his sharp and judgmental eye - but oh, it really isn't judgmental after all, is it? guarded, more like. perhaps even wary, because how many people watched for either of the twin jades of gusu lan to slip just fractionally out of their sense of poised decorum? compare that to how many people have ever shown lan zhan actual kindness. wei ying hasn't known him for terribly long, so perhaps he's mistaken altogether... but he does know that even he spent much of their first few weeks insulting the man, even when he tried to pay him a compliment.
he steals a glance at lan zhan now, just the tiniest glance in the corner of his eye, and he watches the firelight dance across the planes of his soulmate's face. he doesn't look pained by his leg anymore, or by the conversation wei ying dragged him into. in fact, this is perhaps the least bothered lan zhan has looked in as long as wei ying can remember.
it's perhaps that very fact that emboldens him to slide just slightly lower against the wall and let himself sink to rest against lan zhan's side, his temple settling on the man's shoulder. it's a bit less direct this way than if he had simply leaned, and their faces aren't quite so terribly close, which he hopes might convince lan zhan to allow it. )
[ It's something they both must learn together. How to stand together. To lean on each other regardless of what happens around them.
Wangji is used to being judged and watched and yes, even insulted for sticking so tightly to rules. He is sheltered and has known very little outside of Gusu. He'd learned through necessity how to hide his emotions. To keep others from realizing how much certain things bother him. He uses it to show others how he feels they should act as well, and really it seems to work fairly well.
And then he'd met Wei Ying, and cracks appear. But he also accepts those cracks, the more time spent with him. And now, it feels like those cracks are meant to be there, because they represent Wei Ying.
Pain matters little, now. He lets his eyes close, still not looking at his soulmate beside him. Even when he feels Wei Ying shift closer and then...! He tenses slightly, startled when he feels the other's head come to rest on his shoulder, that body settling against his side.
He'd shove most people away for such daring. But gradually he relaxes. This is just something Wei Ying does. And it's...warm. He stays put, not budging. Not pulling away. Silently, serenely, accepting the weight against his side and shoulder. Eventually his cheek comes to rest against the top of Wei Ying's as he slips into a meditative sleep. ]
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no subject
It doesn't make recent events hurt less. It doesn't absolve him. It doesn't fix anything.
But it shows a willingness on Wei Ying's part to help shoulder the burden. More than just his weight, to try and save his leg from permanent damage while Wen Chao continues to parade them around for his pleasure.
He keeps his voice quiet, barely loud enough for the other to hear. ]
Must find a way to remedy it.
[ Tacit invitation to hear any thoughts Wei Ying has, or...
No. He'll watch, and listen, to see where he can support his soulmate in taking the corrupt Wen sect down. ]
no subject
We will, ( he replies, low and perhaps a bit foreboding - but if so, the foreboding hangs over wen chao and his men. another step or two pass, then, ) He's loud, but he's stupid. We just wait for him to make a mistake. ( to give them too much leeway. to let them in reach of his sword. to slip and fall and distract his men just long enough for he and lan zhan and jiang cheng and (ugh) probably the peacock to steal their swords from their sheaths and riot. something. there's going to be something. )
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Mm.
[ Agreement. Subtle promise of his own to help, if Wei Ying is able to interpret it that way. Or simply decides to. Either way, he won't fight alone. ]
Patience.
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Patience, ( he agrees, and that's that.
the perfect occasion arises eventually, even without his help. a fight breaks out once they've found the cave (over mianmian - at least it's a worthy cause), and he manages to take wen chao hostage. a moral victory even if not an actual one, since the idiot goes free almost immediately once the tortoise of slaughter makes itself known. more fighting ensues, this time far more chaotic and fearful.
before long, the wens have retreated back up the stone cliff like spineless cowards and the rest of the young masters and servants have made their way out through the water-filled tunnel below. just wei ying and lan zhan remain, holed up beyond a door just barely too small for the tortoise's massive skull to fit through. wei ying leans heavily back against the wall with a breath of laughter, half relieved and half exhilarated from the fight - but that's when he notices once again how strongly lan zhan favors his leg.
he couldn't drop to a crouch any faster if his legs gave out, by the man's side in an instant. ) It got you, ( he says, less a question than a self-flagellant statement, since he should have been watching. looking out for lan zhan, hadn't that been the plan? hands hover impotently around the wounded leg for a moment, all of his willpower funneled into having the decency to ask before he looks. ) Let me look at it. ( okay, that's not really 'asking', but there's definitely a 'please?' underlying his tone. )
no subject
They stick close together, along with their other, fellow captives, and do their best to keep everyone safe. Even if by the time he and Wei Ying are finally, for once, alone in the cave, and his leg is even worse.
Worth it, to keep his soulmate safe and not left behind, as the other man had clearly intended. Fool, the decisive word fondly echoes in his mind before being set aside. Brave, kind, self-sacrificing fool. It captivates him more than he'd have expected, providing a nice distraction from the physical pain and exertion of the fight.
But the fight is over, and most of what had helped him keep going drains out as he sits down, back against the stone in their little hiding place. He watches the desperate need to help war with decency to wait in those hands, hears it in Wei Ying's voice. He lowers his gaze, taking a calming, careful breath to try and settle the pounding of his heart and soothe the burn in his chest for air.
Studies his leg, hand resting lightly over the worst part of the wound. He nods, because this infuriating man is his, and they're in this together to the end. ]
no subject
perhaps he is a fool. how terribly fortunate, then, that his soulmate isn't one.
what his soulmate is is wounded, and wei ying's gaze flickers back and forth from said wound to lan zhan's face - watching for even the slightest sign that it's okay to attend to it. that very permission comes in the form of a single nod, and he scoots in close enough not to have to lean as he peels layers of robe up away from the wound.
his wince at the sight of it is carefully suppressed, swallowed down to a flicker of his brow and a heavy swallow. this is bad. it needs support, it needs some of wen ning's panacea, it needs -
to not be stuck in this stupid cave, is what it needs. not an option right this moment, but one he's prioritizing in the near future for that very reason. for now, he draws out wen ning's pouch of what looks very much like medicinal dirt, much more empty than he recalls but certainly full enough to use on lan zhan's wounds. he sprinkles some into a palm, then sets the bag down and presses a bit of it to each of the cuts, where it (fortunately and unfortunately) sticks well enough thanks to the fresh and drying blood. )
Sorry if it stings, ( he belatedly thinks to say, gaze flickering up to lan zhan's for a moment before focusing back down on his work. ) But the more it stings, the better it's working - or something like that. ( he's no doctor, that just... seems like what makes sense.
now the gashes are covered in panacea, but that solves precisely nothing unless they can stabilize the break. so - ) I'll be right back, ( he says, getting up to hurry off down the cave a bit. he thought he saw some sort of plant bramble this way, and sure enough there's a (mercifully thornless) bush, miraculously alive despite the lack of sunlight here in the cave. wei ying breaks off a branch, tearing off the offshoots as he drags it back to lan zhan, then breaking what's left into two foot-long lengths of stick.
dropping to his knees beside the injured leg once again, he discards the sticks on the ground to reach up and untie the red ribbon holding his hair in place. this is used to secure the sticks on each side of lan zhan's leg, careful to avoid abrading the gashes any worse as he wraps the ribbon around the splint-sticks and leg a good dozen or so times and ties it off.
a moment is taken to survey his work, then a grin breaks out across his face, eyes lifting to lan zhan's again. ) How's that?
no subject
Chatter which he has done his very best to pretend only irritates him, but in fact is soothing. Wei Ying is so full of life. And maybe that makes Wangji a fool to want to stay close, to not mind the knowledge his soul is entwined with this man's. He can live with it with all his heart. Oddly both easier, and harder, now that Wei Ying knows.
Accepted, all the same.
Wangji helps peeling layers of cloth from the mess of his leg, jaw clenched to keep silent. Breath carefully moderated. Fingers just barely twitching where they rest, to keep from clutching the limb and risking making it even worse. The sprinkle of medicine stings, of course, but he bears it as stoically as he'd walked while carrying dung, beyond a small flinch.
His gaze flies up when Wei Ying stands and moves away, not quite able to keep the flash of unease at being apart. Absurd, it's only a few minutes. Wei Ying wouldn't lie, when it's for someone else. What the other has in mind doesn't matter.
He's not left disappointed, as Wei Ying proves when he comes up with sticks to support the wounded limb. He stretches his leg out just a little, straightening it and ignoring how nerves scream at the added abuse. Then calms as it's set and supported. The red ribbon from Wei Ying's own head has his cheeks pink a little, and he nods at the question, not immediately able to tear his gaze from red against white. ]
Better. Thank you.
no subject
And now, we wait. ( spoken with an air of intrigue, as if waiting to be rescued is simply the next leg of this adventure rather than the long boring slog that it stands to be.
less boring than it would have been were he alone, at least. that thought has him letting his head roll to the side a little, eyeing lan wangji this time with something like thoughtful scrutiny. ) When did you figure it out? ( he finally asks, since mentally speculating is getting him nowhere. and yes, they're finally going to talk about it. they're stuck in a stupid cave, what else do they have to do with their time? )
no subject
He's left with a vague sense that they will succeed, if they stick together. If they rely on each other.
If only he can learn to tolerate the fairly steady stream of words a little better...Except, Wei Ying is doing his part too, in talking just a little less. If only when it's the two of them. Helps put him a little more at ease, at least now.
He settles against the rock, closing his eyes to ignore that scrutiny. But he still answers, after a moment long enough it might be believed he'd fallen asleep. ]
The cold springs.
no subject
but the silence his question earns does plenty to test that newfound lack of chatter. lan zhan heard the question, absolutely, and wei wuxian knows he won't simply ignore it... if he can wait the man out. and so he does, not fooled in the slightest by the way he nearly looks to be sleeping (it's not nine in the evening yet, it couldn't possibly be).
and then the answer comes, and wei ying's brow knits a little, gaze dropping to the side. ) The cold s- ( he echoes, but cuts himself off in favor of a few seconds of silent consideration. now that he thinks back, the cold springs makes sense. wei ying made it halfway out of his robes before lan zhan got fed up and waded off, and in thinking about it, his shoulder was certainly part of that half. was that why lan zhan had reacted so strongly? he certainly knew his own mark, knew that it matched the second he saw it. but that was quite a while ago, now. weeks that lan zhan had known and wei wuxian had not. )
You weren't going to tell me. ( it's not a question, but a resigned sort of understanding he's come to reach. a beat, and then he nods a little with a hint of a smile. ) I can understand that. It must be hard, finding out that the person your life is joined with is one you've hardly been able to tolerate.
( a beat, then his smile blooms into a sort of grin as he turns his eyes back on lan zhan. three fingers lift up near his temple in promise, because - ) It's alright, though. I'm going to be easier to tolerate from now on, you have my word. Maybe not all the time, but a lot of it. How does that sound?
no subject
He doesn't open his eyes to watch the emotions flash across the other's face. He doesn't need to. Surprise, confusion, maybe annoyance, but eventually...when Wei Ying makes himself quiet enough to think, intelligent understanding. And - there.
He doesn't acknowledge the comment. No need, it's true he would never have told the other what he'd learned about them. But the reasoning Wei Ying uses to justify it in his mind is what has Wangji open his eyes to glance at him, lips thinning just a little. He starts to feel almost bad, for his poor skills at communicating what he really should.
And then Wei Ying grins, and makes a promise that has him look away with a huff of a breath. ]
Boring.
[ But he can't accept that from himself. He has to do better. He has to try. ]
Wei Ying. [ He doesn't look at his soulmate. If he does, he'll fall silent again. He won't be able to say what he feels he needs to. ]
The Lantern Festival. Remember the promises made.
no subject
'wei ying.' that draws his eyes back at once, whether or not lan zhan is returning his gaze. which he isn't. instead, he's reminding wei wuxian of the lantern festival, of the things they promised. and all at once, he's cursing this terrible memory of his. so much has happened since that festival, so many more desperate things, that the recollections blur. he remembers the both of them vowing to live with no regrets - that much stood out to him even at the time, because how unusual for someone like lan zhan to make such a vow, he who acts so deliberately in the first place. now that wei ying thinks on it, the rest of their promises weren't so different, either. to stand with justice. to fight violence and protect the weak.
lan zhan had already known of their intertwined fates at the time.
the smile returns now, a subtle and thoughtless one this time, as some wordless, formless truth settles in between his lungs. it feels like it should be heavier, but on the contrary, wei ying only feels lighter now that he carries it. )
I remember now, ( he says, quietly but without the half-note of resignation his last quiet realization held. instead, his tone carries a quiet note of warmth. he settles his head back against the wall again, eyes finding the flickering fire before them. ) It's funny, how living with no regrets sounds so much easier now. ( no wonder he's watching the fire. even as casual as the words may seem, it's not something he would have been able to admit were he looking the man in the eye. )
...Time is a figment of the imagination because wtf self, 2 MONTHS?!
He waits patiently silent for Wei Ying to think, to remember their promises. It doesn't matter how long it takes. And eventually, he hears the result. How Wei Ying's tone shifts and seems to relax. How Wei Ying smiles and Wangji doesn't even have to look to know it.
The warmth of that tone is enough to warm him, better than the fire flickering close by. Better, even, than being so aware of how close they sit. ]
Mm.
[ Quiet agreement as his gaze also falls to the flames. There's almost a peaceful look to his serious expression now. ]
Stand together.
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he remembers a time when such a thing would've sounded awful, to have lan zhan around all the time. to live under his sharp and judgmental eye - but oh, it really isn't judgmental after all, is it? guarded, more like. perhaps even wary, because how many people watched for either of the twin jades of gusu lan to slip just fractionally out of their sense of poised decorum? compare that to how many people have ever shown lan zhan actual kindness. wei ying hasn't known him for terribly long, so perhaps he's mistaken altogether... but he does know that even he spent much of their first few weeks insulting the man, even when he tried to pay him a compliment.
he steals a glance at lan zhan now, just the tiniest glance in the corner of his eye, and he watches the firelight dance across the planes of his soulmate's face. he doesn't look pained by his leg anymore, or by the conversation wei ying dragged him into. in fact, this is perhaps the least bothered lan zhan has looked in as long as wei ying can remember.
it's perhaps that very fact that emboldens him to slide just slightly lower against the wall and let himself sink to rest against lan zhan's side, his temple settling on the man's shoulder. it's a bit less direct this way than if he had simply leaned, and their faces aren't quite so terribly close, which he hopes might convince lan zhan to allow it. )
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Wangji is used to being judged and watched and yes, even insulted for sticking so tightly to rules. He is sheltered and has known very little outside of Gusu. He'd learned through necessity how to hide his emotions. To keep others from realizing how much certain things bother him. He uses it to show others how he feels they should act as well, and really it seems to work fairly well.
And then he'd met Wei Ying, and cracks appear. But he also accepts those cracks, the more time spent with him. And now, it feels like those cracks are meant to be there, because they represent Wei Ying.
Pain matters little, now. He lets his eyes close, still not looking at his soulmate beside him. Even when he feels Wei Ying shift closer and then...! He tenses slightly, startled when he feels the other's head come to rest on his shoulder, that body settling against his side.
He'd shove most people away for such daring. But gradually he relaxes. This is just something Wei Ying does. And it's...warm. He stays put, not budging. Not pulling away. Silently, serenely, accepting the weight against his side and shoulder. Eventually his cheek comes to rest against the top of Wei Ying's as he slips into a meditative sleep. ]