[ Wei Ying makes good choices sometimes. It's his heart that Wangji respects, his sense of justice and resilience to do what he feels is right, no matter the cost. No regrets.
He's left with a vague sense that they will succeed, if they stick together. If they rely on each other.
If only he can learn to tolerate the fairly steady stream of words a little better...Except, Wei Ying is doing his part too, in talking just a little less. If only when it's the two of them. Helps put him a little more at ease, at least now.
He settles against the rock, closing his eyes to ignore that scrutiny. But he still answers, after a moment long enough it might be believed he'd fallen asleep. ]
( oh, how it's going to disappoint lan zhan when he finds out that wei ying has only been talking less because they've been caught in a crisis. at least, that's his rationale. that and the prevailing fatigue, from both his injuries and the lack of sleep he has gotten since the indoctrination began.
but the silence his question earns does plenty to test that newfound lack of chatter. lan zhan heard the question, absolutely, and wei wuxian knows he won't simply ignore it... if he can wait the man out. and so he does, not fooled in the slightest by the way he nearly looks to be sleeping (it's not nine in the evening yet, it couldn't possibly be).
and then the answer comes, and wei ying's brow knits a little, gaze dropping to the side. ) The cold s- ( he echoes, but cuts himself off in favor of a few seconds of silent consideration. now that he thinks back, the cold springs makes sense. wei ying made it halfway out of his robes before lan zhan got fed up and waded off, and in thinking about it, his shoulder was certainly part of that half. was that why lan zhan had reacted so strongly? he certainly knew his own mark, knew that it matched the second he saw it. but that was quite a while ago, now. weeks that lan zhan had known and wei wuxian had not. )
You weren't going to tell me. ( it's not a question, but a resigned sort of understanding he's come to reach. a beat, and then he nods a little with a hint of a smile. ) I can understand that. It must be hard, finding out that the person your life is joined with is one you've hardly been able to tolerate.
( a beat, then his smile blooms into a sort of grin as he turns his eyes back on lan zhan. three fingers lift up near his temple in promise, because - ) It's alright, though. I'm going to be easier to tolerate from now on, you have my word. Maybe not all the time, but a lot of it. How does that sound?
[ Disappoint? Yes. Surprise? Not as much as Wei Ying might think. Wangji has rather resigned himself to the truth of his soulmate. Even when he might wish some aspects were different.
He doesn't open his eyes to watch the emotions flash across the other's face. He doesn't need to. Surprise, confusion, maybe annoyance, but eventually...when Wei Ying makes himself quiet enough to think, intelligent understanding. And - there.
He doesn't acknowledge the comment. No need, it's true he would never have told the other what he'd learned about them. But the reasoning Wei Ying uses to justify it in his mind is what has Wangji open his eyes to glance at him, lips thinning just a little. He starts to feel almost bad, for his poor skills at communicating what he really should.
And then Wei Ying grins, and makes a promise that has him look away with a huff of a breath. ]
Boring.
[ But he can't accept that from himself. He has to do better. He has to try. ]
Wei Ying. [ He doesn't look at his soulmate. If he does, he'll fall silent again. He won't be able to say what he feels he needs to. ]
( boring? wei ying has just vowed to be less of a thorn in lan zhan's side and he's calling it boring? (wei ying huffs out an incredulous sort of breath, glancing off to the side.) it's as if lan zhan wants to be driven up the walls. if the matter were even fractionally less important, wei ying would take it as a challenge just on principle.
'wei ying.' that draws his eyes back at once, whether or not lan zhan is returning his gaze. which he isn't. instead, he's reminding wei wuxian of the lantern festival, of the things they promised. and all at once, he's cursing this terrible memory of his. so much has happened since that festival, so many more desperate things, that the recollections blur. he remembers the both of them vowing to live with no regrets - that much stood out to him even at the time, because how unusual for someone like lan zhan to make such a vow, he who acts so deliberately in the first place. now that wei ying thinks on it, the rest of their promises weren't so different, either. to stand with justice. to fight violence and protect the weak.
lan zhan had already known of their intertwined fates at the time.
the smile returns now, a subtle and thoughtless one this time, as some wordless, formless truth settles in between his lungs. it feels like it should be heavier, but on the contrary, wei ying only feels lighter now that he carries it. )
I remember now, ( he says, quietly but without the half-note of resignation his last quiet realization held. instead, his tone carries a quiet note of warmth. he settles his head back against the wall again, eyes finding the flickering fire before them. ) It's funny, how living with no regrets sounds so much easier now. ( no wonder he's watching the fire. even as casual as the words may seem, it's not something he would have been able to admit were he looking the man in the eye. )
...Time is a figment of the imagination because wtf self, 2 MONTHS?!
[ Wei Ying doesn't have to change. Not to keep Wangji with him. Even if were they not soulmates, Wangji is aware he'd still be drawn to this man.
He waits patiently silent for Wei Ying to think, to remember their promises. It doesn't matter how long it takes. And eventually, he hears the result. How Wei Ying's tone shifts and seems to relax. How Wei Ying smiles and Wangji doesn't even have to look to know it.
The warmth of that tone is enough to warm him, better than the fire flickering close by. Better, even, than being so aware of how close they sit. ]
Mm.
[ Quiet agreement as his gaze also falls to the flames. There's almost a peaceful look to his serious expression now. ]
Stand together, ( he echoes, quiet and resolute. wei ying isn't even entirely sure what that means, specifically - whether it encompasses only such matters as fighting for justice and the weak, or whether the esteemed lan wangji has truly resigned himself to standing beside wei ying in a more general sense as well.
he remembers a time when such a thing would've sounded awful, to have lan zhan around all the time. to live under his sharp and judgmental eye - but oh, it really isn't judgmental after all, is it? guarded, more like. perhaps even wary, because how many people watched for either of the twin jades of gusu lan to slip just fractionally out of their sense of poised decorum? compare that to how many people have ever shown lan zhan actual kindness. wei ying hasn't known him for terribly long, so perhaps he's mistaken altogether... but he does know that even he spent much of their first few weeks insulting the man, even when he tried to pay him a compliment.
he steals a glance at lan zhan now, just the tiniest glance in the corner of his eye, and he watches the firelight dance across the planes of his soulmate's face. he doesn't look pained by his leg anymore, or by the conversation wei ying dragged him into. in fact, this is perhaps the least bothered lan zhan has looked in as long as wei ying can remember.
it's perhaps that very fact that emboldens him to slide just slightly lower against the wall and let himself sink to rest against lan zhan's side, his temple settling on the man's shoulder. it's a bit less direct this way than if he had simply leaned, and their faces aren't quite so terribly close, which he hopes might convince lan zhan to allow it. )
[ It's something they both must learn together. How to stand together. To lean on each other regardless of what happens around them.
Wangji is used to being judged and watched and yes, even insulted for sticking so tightly to rules. He is sheltered and has known very little outside of Gusu. He'd learned through necessity how to hide his emotions. To keep others from realizing how much certain things bother him. He uses it to show others how he feels they should act as well, and really it seems to work fairly well.
And then he'd met Wei Ying, and cracks appear. But he also accepts those cracks, the more time spent with him. And now, it feels like those cracks are meant to be there, because they represent Wei Ying.
Pain matters little, now. He lets his eyes close, still not looking at his soulmate beside him. Even when he feels Wei Ying shift closer and then...! He tenses slightly, startled when he feels the other's head come to rest on his shoulder, that body settling against his side.
He'd shove most people away for such daring. But gradually he relaxes. This is just something Wei Ying does. And it's...warm. He stays put, not budging. Not pulling away. Silently, serenely, accepting the weight against his side and shoulder. Eventually his cheek comes to rest against the top of Wei Ying's as he slips into a meditative sleep. ]
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no subject
He's left with a vague sense that they will succeed, if they stick together. If they rely on each other.
If only he can learn to tolerate the fairly steady stream of words a little better...Except, Wei Ying is doing his part too, in talking just a little less. If only when it's the two of them. Helps put him a little more at ease, at least now.
He settles against the rock, closing his eyes to ignore that scrutiny. But he still answers, after a moment long enough it might be believed he'd fallen asleep. ]
The cold springs.
no subject
but the silence his question earns does plenty to test that newfound lack of chatter. lan zhan heard the question, absolutely, and wei wuxian knows he won't simply ignore it... if he can wait the man out. and so he does, not fooled in the slightest by the way he nearly looks to be sleeping (it's not nine in the evening yet, it couldn't possibly be).
and then the answer comes, and wei ying's brow knits a little, gaze dropping to the side. ) The cold s- ( he echoes, but cuts himself off in favor of a few seconds of silent consideration. now that he thinks back, the cold springs makes sense. wei ying made it halfway out of his robes before lan zhan got fed up and waded off, and in thinking about it, his shoulder was certainly part of that half. was that why lan zhan had reacted so strongly? he certainly knew his own mark, knew that it matched the second he saw it. but that was quite a while ago, now. weeks that lan zhan had known and wei wuxian had not. )
You weren't going to tell me. ( it's not a question, but a resigned sort of understanding he's come to reach. a beat, and then he nods a little with a hint of a smile. ) I can understand that. It must be hard, finding out that the person your life is joined with is one you've hardly been able to tolerate.
( a beat, then his smile blooms into a sort of grin as he turns his eyes back on lan zhan. three fingers lift up near his temple in promise, because - ) It's alright, though. I'm going to be easier to tolerate from now on, you have my word. Maybe not all the time, but a lot of it. How does that sound?
no subject
He doesn't open his eyes to watch the emotions flash across the other's face. He doesn't need to. Surprise, confusion, maybe annoyance, but eventually...when Wei Ying makes himself quiet enough to think, intelligent understanding. And - there.
He doesn't acknowledge the comment. No need, it's true he would never have told the other what he'd learned about them. But the reasoning Wei Ying uses to justify it in his mind is what has Wangji open his eyes to glance at him, lips thinning just a little. He starts to feel almost bad, for his poor skills at communicating what he really should.
And then Wei Ying grins, and makes a promise that has him look away with a huff of a breath. ]
Boring.
[ But he can't accept that from himself. He has to do better. He has to try. ]
Wei Ying. [ He doesn't look at his soulmate. If he does, he'll fall silent again. He won't be able to say what he feels he needs to. ]
The Lantern Festival. Remember the promises made.
no subject
'wei ying.' that draws his eyes back at once, whether or not lan zhan is returning his gaze. which he isn't. instead, he's reminding wei wuxian of the lantern festival, of the things they promised. and all at once, he's cursing this terrible memory of his. so much has happened since that festival, so many more desperate things, that the recollections blur. he remembers the both of them vowing to live with no regrets - that much stood out to him even at the time, because how unusual for someone like lan zhan to make such a vow, he who acts so deliberately in the first place. now that wei ying thinks on it, the rest of their promises weren't so different, either. to stand with justice. to fight violence and protect the weak.
lan zhan had already known of their intertwined fates at the time.
the smile returns now, a subtle and thoughtless one this time, as some wordless, formless truth settles in between his lungs. it feels like it should be heavier, but on the contrary, wei ying only feels lighter now that he carries it. )
I remember now, ( he says, quietly but without the half-note of resignation his last quiet realization held. instead, his tone carries a quiet note of warmth. he settles his head back against the wall again, eyes finding the flickering fire before them. ) It's funny, how living with no regrets sounds so much easier now. ( no wonder he's watching the fire. even as casual as the words may seem, it's not something he would have been able to admit were he looking the man in the eye. )
...Time is a figment of the imagination because wtf self, 2 MONTHS?!
He waits patiently silent for Wei Ying to think, to remember their promises. It doesn't matter how long it takes. And eventually, he hears the result. How Wei Ying's tone shifts and seems to relax. How Wei Ying smiles and Wangji doesn't even have to look to know it.
The warmth of that tone is enough to warm him, better than the fire flickering close by. Better, even, than being so aware of how close they sit. ]
Mm.
[ Quiet agreement as his gaze also falls to the flames. There's almost a peaceful look to his serious expression now. ]
Stand together.
no subject
he remembers a time when such a thing would've sounded awful, to have lan zhan around all the time. to live under his sharp and judgmental eye - but oh, it really isn't judgmental after all, is it? guarded, more like. perhaps even wary, because how many people watched for either of the twin jades of gusu lan to slip just fractionally out of their sense of poised decorum? compare that to how many people have ever shown lan zhan actual kindness. wei ying hasn't known him for terribly long, so perhaps he's mistaken altogether... but he does know that even he spent much of their first few weeks insulting the man, even when he tried to pay him a compliment.
he steals a glance at lan zhan now, just the tiniest glance in the corner of his eye, and he watches the firelight dance across the planes of his soulmate's face. he doesn't look pained by his leg anymore, or by the conversation wei ying dragged him into. in fact, this is perhaps the least bothered lan zhan has looked in as long as wei ying can remember.
it's perhaps that very fact that emboldens him to slide just slightly lower against the wall and let himself sink to rest against lan zhan's side, his temple settling on the man's shoulder. it's a bit less direct this way than if he had simply leaned, and their faces aren't quite so terribly close, which he hopes might convince lan zhan to allow it. )
no subject
Wangji is used to being judged and watched and yes, even insulted for sticking so tightly to rules. He is sheltered and has known very little outside of Gusu. He'd learned through necessity how to hide his emotions. To keep others from realizing how much certain things bother him. He uses it to show others how he feels they should act as well, and really it seems to work fairly well.
And then he'd met Wei Ying, and cracks appear. But he also accepts those cracks, the more time spent with him. And now, it feels like those cracks are meant to be there, because they represent Wei Ying.
Pain matters little, now. He lets his eyes close, still not looking at his soulmate beside him. Even when he feels Wei Ying shift closer and then...! He tenses slightly, startled when he feels the other's head come to rest on his shoulder, that body settling against his side.
He'd shove most people away for such daring. But gradually he relaxes. This is just something Wei Ying does. And it's...warm. He stays put, not budging. Not pulling away. Silently, serenely, accepting the weight against his side and shoulder. Eventually his cheek comes to rest against the top of Wei Ying's as he slips into a meditative sleep. ]